Lazuli- Origin 4

Lazuli was truly starting to wonder if running about gathering this magic ore was really worth it. While he was beyond relieved that it was finally done, it had been ages since he’d originally set out to find the groves, and the faevyn couldn’t help wondering if perhaps Saffron expected him to have gotten killed during his travels. If it weren’t for the fact she was also half-blooded, the diminutive man would’ve counted on it, but it seemed that this was a matter of perseverance, actual learning and self-discovery.

As Lazuli stood at the entrance to her grove, he pondered if perhaps he’d missed the whole point of this trip. Sure, he learned about the elements, and how he wielded vital essences for good and ill alike; he also learned of his reasons for venturing out and empowering himself, and in retrospect, they seemed a little… Well, petty. The lobster recalled them being along the lines of, ‘because he was good at magic, he can’t face his problems without it, and he has an inferiority complex twice the size of Lake Coradine.’ Frankly, Lazuli was surprised he wasn’t laughed out of the groves.

He approached the clearing where Saffron awaited realizing that, up until that point, he had never truly put much thought into how unhappy he was with himself. Ever since he ran away from home, Laz had been doing whatever he could to avoid thinking about his state of being, quietly ignoring the reality that he was homeless, jobless, friendless, and only served as good a purpose as others saw fit to give him as much as possible. Getting reamed by the ghost of his own father didn’t help either, berating Lazuli for feeding into a need for approval he didn’t even know he had until it had literally hit him upside the head. Taur-kin were natural survivalists, and humans were industrially progressive, so what did that leave for faevyn like him other than a couple of magic tricks?

“It’s good to see you again, Lazuli.” Saffron greeted him, smiling as she rose to her feet from her spot in the shade. “It’s been some time since you left to retrieve the eonite shards. I hope it wasn’t too treacherous for you.”

Lazuli hesitated; he struggled to take her concern seriously, accustomed too much to sarcasm. “…No. No, I- it was just frustrating, that’s all.” He replied, his mood souring. The guardian accepted this answer unquestioningly.

“It’s always a relief to hear of faevyn making their trips safely- especially to Spire Hollow. I haven’t been so fortunate in my travels there.” She said in relief. “Come, I have something for you to do while I prepare your charm.” She ushered for Lazuli to follow her, and the pair made their way further into the grove, where the trees were taller, the grass was soft, and the songs of all manner of birds rang sweetly through the air. There was a particular patch of grass where the sun shone through a gap in the canopy, standing taller than the green in the shade. “While I prepare your charm, I will ask one last task of you: I know that, well, introspection is not one of your preferred hobbies,” she hesitated as Lazuli gave her a look, handing his eonite gems over, “but I know that it would prove a great benefit to you to weigh on what you’ve accomplished today- what it is that you truly are capable of, and what you have learned about what it means to be a faevyn in this world, in Siyyon.”

Lazuli let out a sigh. “I suppose I at least owe myself that much.”

Saffron rested a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “It’s what any faevyn owes themselves, at the very least. You have seen and lived the hurt firsthand, but there’s much to be gained from that hurt. You must realize that before this is over.” With that, she slowly, carefully walked away, letting the crustaceous mage make his way to his place in the grass to sit and reflect.

And for what felt like ages, Lazuli sat there in the hot sun, letting his pants stain in the grass as he progressively dehydrated, and his mind slowly began to spiral into a pit of self-loathing. This all felt like some grandiose waste of time, both his and Saffron’s, but even with the idea in mind that he should leave, where was he going to go? What would he do from here? Run back to the ocean and hide under a rock? A breeze blew by, shaking the trees and making him aware that the clearing was empty even without opening his eyes. It was cold, and made him shudder. This wasn’t where he was meant to be, this was a place for people destined for something worthwhile. Lazuli let out a shaky, defeated sigh and opened his eyes. “Saffron, I’m sorry, but-”

The view of a shady grove wasn’t what met him. Instead there was a foggy blackness, a void whose sole occupant was the faevyn in a patch of grass that faded out of existence in the span of a few inches from his sides. He gasped and drew himself into a ball, none too eager to fall off of his scarcely-present island. It was quiet, though it wasn’t by any means a tense, eerie silence. Rather, it was the kind one felt when slowly waking up on a quiet morning under insulated blankets: safe, comforting, still. The silvery fog would occasionally flicker with bits of faded color, but he didn’t know what it meant.

The colors on the fog grew to become specks of light: a flashing burst of oranges and yellows, shooting swirls of green, splashes of golden brown, waves of blue and white, fluttering, faded yellow. Lazuli would flinch when they would come too close, but as he watched the colors dance and twist into vague shapes, he slowly eased out of his fetal position.

Where was he? What did this have to do with what he came for? Why was Lazuli being subject to a light show, when for all he could tell it had nothing to do with faevyn or magic? As if to answer his question, the swirls of color began to form pictures: the first was of swaying, golden strands, much like the grassy fields of Prevalare. It was followed by spiraling clouds of lush green held aloft by brown pillars, trees standing proud and tall. Then, there was a deep brown, with gem-like glimmers of red and blue and streaks of gold and silver.

“What do you see?”

Lazuli immediately looked around, but there was no source of the voice to be seen. “Wh-who’s there?”

“What do you see?” The voice repeated, echoing like a thought in his mind. “Describe them.”

“Uh… Earth?” He asked, hoping he was right.

“What of the earth?” It whispered. Lazuli watched the various imagery shift from one to another.

“A… Tree. And grass? And dirt, lotta…” The lobster swallowed. “Lotta dirt n’ gems, I think.”

“Is one of them any more earth than the others?” It asked.

“Well, the dirt maybe. Technically that’s earth, the rest’re plants.”

“No.” The imagery shifted to warmer colors. The next set of images were easier to identify, with flickering golds and oranges like fire, the white-blue flashes of webbed lightning, and the bubbling bursts of molten lava.

“Oh, well this is a no-brainer.” Lazuli grunted. “It’s all fire elements, right? Fire, lightning, lava?”

“Is any one more or less fire than the rest?” The voice asked calmly.

“No, they’re all hot and can cook you alive.” Lazuli replied bluntly. The imagery moved on to gentle twists, cloudy curls and dark, steely torrents when the faevyn realized what was going on. “Alright, alright, I get it. Elements come in many forms, and none o’ these’re any less than another, right? You don’t have to present it like I’m learning my ABCs.” The man grumbled. “That was condescending as it was.” The figures and colors faded from view, leaving him in the foggy void once more. “Look, I get it: the elements are equal, they’re all special, they’re important, and I respect that! I really do!” Lazuli pushed himself to his feet. “I dunno if this is what I’m supposed to learn, but if it is, I think I’ve got the message. So may I go back to the grove, now?”

There was a faint hum as a mass of color formed in front of him, then spiraled and danced right over his shoulders and between his limbs to somewhere behind him, where they cast a light. In his curiosity, the man followed where they went, and winced at what it had made.

Unlike the visuals of swirling trees or flickering fire, the light had formed solid entities; though basic in their presentation, the images were rather clear. Lazuli didn’t know what he was expecting when he turned around, but representative icons of his human mother, homarutaur father, and faevyn self were far from it. “……” He felt a hot wetness in the corners of his eyes and looked away, his chest becoming tight. “What does this have to do with the elements, this isn’t what I came here for.”

“It is.” The void breathed faintly.

“No, it’s not!” Lazuli yelled, having no patience for it. “My family has nothing to do with magic or Siyyon as a whole.”

He felt something gently touch his arm, and the man spun around and open his claws threateningly. His light-based counterpart was there, featureless and unphased by the pincers mere seconds away from crushing its hypothetical skull. “We’re not here for Siyyon.” It said in the same calm voice that had been speaking to him for a while. “This is about you.”

The faevyn saw some sort of flickering in their forms, something beneath the surface that only made itself apparent when he looked more closely. The figure of his mother held splashes and swirls like waves, gracing her features with a cool elegance. His father, thankfully worlds more lively than the first time Lazuli had encountered him, looked as though he were made of highly-condensed steam, faint plumes leaking like the spout of a tea kettle. His own duplicate, which had gratefully backed away to a respectable distance, shone like ice, with icicles mirroring every spine on his tangible form. They all embodied something, but even after observing the parallel, the faevyn struggled to grasp the message.

“I… I don’t understand, are you saying I’m cold?” He asked, leering at them. “Because you can’t blame me for being a little, y'know, jaded about my crummy lifestyle-”

“No.”

“That I’m harder to… Understand?”

“No.”

“….uh-”

“Look at what you and your family have in common.” The void explained. “You already have captured the purpose of earth, fire, and air. What can you gather from this?”

Lazuli stared for a while. When the message finally reached him, he chuckled. “That this is bull crap.”

“No-”

“Yeah, it is.” He interrupted. “You’re trying to say, 'all the people are equal, just like the elements’ but that’s not the case. They’re not, they never have been!” The man spat, anger building in his tone. “Don’t get me wrong, I’d LOVE that to be the case, but if it was true, don’t you think I could’ve gone without the title of 'bastard’ growing up, while all the other little bastard kids my age were just called sons and daughters? Ya think my kind would have been a little more commonplace? Saffron and maybe ONE bat guy years ago are the only other faevyn I’ve EVER seen!”

“Lazuli-”

“I am not equal! If I were, I could have gotten a stable job without having to rely on nobody else wanting to do it! I would be given thanks for helping people, whether it’s saving their kids from drowning in the deadliest river in the valley or delivering a package ahead of schedule! People wouldn’t keep calling me 'Faevyn’ after learning my name because that’s the only thing they see fit to call me-”

“LAZULI!” The entity yelled, stopping his tirade in its tracks as several stalagmites and icicles shot up from the ground like a series of fence posts. The lobster crossed his arms and bowed his head, not caring to look up at his dopplegänger as the forms of his parents faded away. It was silent for a moment before a faint sob shook the man’s shoulders. “You are so quick to point out your flaws, your hurt, and your bitterness, but you can’t let it consume you.”

“Or else what?” Lazuli croaked, “what would change?”

“Everything would. You lose yourself, your work toward bettering yourself would have gone to waste -and it’s a lot of work, so much effort over the years.” It answered. “You would have nothing to aspire to but building hatred that will lead to disaster, destruction, and making things worse for faevyn everywhere. You can achieve greatness, you already have, but you need to acknowledge that- even if nobody else will. Being or becoming a human or taur-kin wouldn’t change the fact that you are willing and able to help people, that you are kind, or that you’re well-respected.

A hand came to rest on his shoulder. "And believe me, Lazuli: there are people out there of many races that look up to you because of that.”

He wiped the tears from his eyes with the butt of his palms, but when Lazuli looked up, the sunlight practically blinded him. “Aaauuugh!” He cried out and shielded his face with his hands, bowing his head between his knees as he seethed. It took a lot of blinking and eye-wiping to get his vision back, and Lazuli crawled over to a tree to get out of the baking sun. “Son of a… Mmngh.”

He heard a faint chuckle beside him right before there was a cold splash of water over his head. Rather than a yelp, he shuddered in relief and drew the water out of the soil to splash in his face, which led to more laughter. “Had a good vision?” Saffron asked, kneeling beside him.

“Oh hell no.” He belted out before even taking the time to think of a better answer.

“Did it hurt?”

“Not as much as losing a limb,” Lazuli sighed, “but it’s up there on the list of my worst experiences.” The two of them stood up, and the eel leaned out of the way of one of his claws as he stretched. “I hope I don’t have to do that again any time soon.”

“The important thing is, it’s done.” She assured him. “In doing so, you’ve taken the final step in your journey of discovering what it means to be a faevyn in Siyyon. It is hard, it is a lot of work, and it can even be hurtful in the worst of times, but,” Saffron took his hand and gently set something in his palm, “through trials, you emerge stronger, wiser, and more willing to overcome them. The world shifts from your obstacle course to your clay. Mold it well, be kinder to it than it has to you, for your actions may very well create a change in the people’s hearts.”